About the Nothing Store

As Obama and crew print and borrow more and more money, the U.S. dollar faces an uncertain future.

But three cheers for our Unmighty Dollars -- print as many as you like. They're already worth Nothing, so they can't go down in value.

Comments? Email The Nothing Store team!

The Nothing Store issues new currency weekly.


Counterfeiting Instructions:

Click on a denomination above, print the bills, cut them out, and stuff in an envelope. Send to your congressman or senator marked as a CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION. They'll get the message! For the address of your congressman, click here for senators and here for representatives.



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SCHEDULE M



When our accountant finished figuring how much we owed the government this year, we were as confused as ever. But we don't mind; years ago we gave up trying to understand taxes. We do still read the completed return before we sign it, but mostly just for kicks. It helps to laugh before getting to the bottom line.

This year we got an $800 credit from something called the Making Work Pay program on Schedule M. Har, har. Do they make this stuff up to distract us from reality? Making Work Pay? Is this some sort of phrase from an alternate universe, someplace where work doesnt pay? Reminds us of the most famous joke in the old Soviet Union: We pretend to work and you pretend to pay us.

We imagine taxpayers all over the country reading Schedule M. Making... Work... Pay... We see their synapses misfiring, their eyes crossing, and their heads bouncing on the kitchen table.

We think this credit means the government first took some money from us then gave some of it back, but who knows? Once, our accountant tried to explain something in the tax code, but it only sounded like those old double-talk jokes: Sleep in the dark or with the lights out? Walk to school or carry your lunch? Feel more like you did now than when you got here?

After a while she got confused herself and revealed that she only did what the computer program told her.

But there are two things we do understand.

When you vote for politicians whose policies will result in more taxes, what you are saying is: "Have at it, uncle. I have every confidence you can spend this money more wisely and efficiently than I can. Glad to help our glorious fatherland."

Those that are skeptical of new programs and new taxes sing a different tune:  "Nobody understands this crap and it is mostly unfair theft that goes to fund a bunch of silly stuff and some dangerous stuff and unproductive stuff and most of all the lavish lifestyles and pet projects of the politicians so that they can hand out earmarks and remain in office, but I am too scared by the feds to even think about fudging on my tax returns."

You can guess which category describes us.

We have our own way to think of Schedule M. Its just plain M for Madness.

When a society starts taking this gobbledegook seriously, it has lost its mind. Hanging on to paper backed by "the full faith and credit of the United States" is no different than loaning money to a lunatic. Its time to take whatever paper dollars the government allows you to keep and trade them for land, tools, gold and silver.