About the Nothing Store

As Obama and crew print and borrow more and more money, the U.S. dollar faces an uncertain future.

But three cheers for our Unmighty Dollars -- print as many as you like. They're already worth Nothing, so they can't go down in value.

Comments? Email The Nothing Store team!

The Nothing Store issues new currency weekly.

Counterfeiting Instructions:

Click on a denomination above, print the bills, cut them out, and stuff in an envelope. Send to your congressman or senator marked as a CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION. They'll get the message! For the address of your congressman, click here for senators and here for representatives.

True Colors

Lately our dreams are lit up with high-def color. Maybe it's all this talk of racism and color-blind societies that is giving us these colorful nightmares.

We dream of Little Green Men who descend from their UFOs and demand that Obama make health care truly Universal.

We dream of the Little Yellow Men from China lecturing the Tall Black Guy and his Pasty White Buddies. "Knock it off," they said. "You're broke. America is in the red. Stop printing greenbacks. Get your balance sheet in the black. We hold trillions of your IOUs. They're very pretty, these multi-colored T Bills, but if you keep on with the borrowing and spending, they're going to turn into ....that brown stuff."

Colorful language, coming from these normally colorless Little Yellow Men.

"We're not wearing the rose-colored glasses like those idiots in Congress," they went on. "Your naivete is depressing; it's making us very blue. Some of us are even turning purple with rage.

"So knock it off with the income redistribution schemes and the central planning and all that other pinko nonsense," they told the Tall Black Guy and his Pasty White Buddies. "Get a clue. Even we Little Yellow Men see that being red is not so trendy anymore."

Crazy dreams all right. But one thing's for sure. No matter what your color, nobody likes to be stiffed.

Who knows, maybe there really are Little Green Men. We've never seen any outside of our dreams, but then again we're seeing a lot of weird things for the first time, like a Congress trying to vote on a health care bill before the citizenry can get a look at it. Not to mention Barney Frank....

And just because we've never met any Little Green Men doesn't mean they are much different from the rest of us. They're probably just trying to get by and catch a little love. We're sure there's good ones and bad ones, and plenty who are sometimes good and sometimes bad, but we're not too wild about giving some government bureaucrat our money to keep them healthy. We figure that's their responsibility.

We realize this makes us a racist in the eyes of Jimmy Carter. But what the heck do we care what Carter thinks? Those liberals all look alike to us anyhow.

We love all the colors, and especially the gold at the end of the rainbow. Silver's not bad either.